Princess Starlet's Journal

11:58pm: ...who am I to disagree?........
Someone is talking
But it's not conversation
Sounds more like a voice in my head.
It says
I live in nightmares
I'm the new god of panic
And i'm waiting for you to come home to me.


So boy, welcome to sleep
I'm gonna make you, make you, make you bleed.
I could be dreaming
But then maybe that's fatal.
There's nowhere to hide in your dreams.
I'm so uneasy
I'm shaking and nervous.
I'm alone in my room and i'm scared of it.


So, don't let me sleep
It's gonna make me, make me, make me bleed.


My mother told me
Don't believe in ghost stories.
There's nothing to hurt you in here
But she was wrong
And now it's come back to haunt me.
It says it won't leave me alive for long.


I don't want to sleep.
It's gonna make me, make me, make me bleed.

10:21pm: ...you've been through the fires of hell & I know you've got the ashes to prove it...
to quote sanghasong.....

....."pain is in the brain, not in the flesh"........

...knowwotimean???????????..............

10:11pm: ...this is not really happening,. You bet your life it is...
If I was lj'ing I would be writing a whole lot of Positive Shit right now...............but I've got a life.......so I aint gonna bother.............
Still Luvin Ya............
(& thankU 2 morganlefray

5:46pm: ....I come back crazier.....
I LOVE EVERYONE & EVERYTHING.......
CONSIDER YOURSELF TO HAVE PETAJAYNE LOVE.......
YOU LUCKY FUCKERS..............
PS I AM WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
goes & drinks champagne & eats donuts

10:24am: sanghasong writes for petajayne
my lovely mrs has asked me to write a quick note to say hello, and to assure those who notice when she's not LJing that she's just fine. we are coming out of a 4 day fug of intoxication.

woe betide us, she's started cleaning.......

2:11pm: ..I bless the rain down in Africa..........
I am glad to be alive!!!!
With thanx to sanghasong, munkysdredlocks, Dr Luverly & some very speshul friends, including some online ones that I hope you know who you are I made it through this year & didn't kill myself & am now beginning to be a well & happy P!!!!!!!

I've got four dogs, I live in Cornwall, I've got a fabby home, munkysdredlocks is home for Xmas tomorrow, I'm an artist & dya know wot.....
.....due to having the bestest husband eva
I'm going to fucking Africa next month Dudes!!!!
Yep, that's right, I am going to be an Arabian Princess in Tunisia next month living in the lap of luxury cos sanghasong is taking me there!!!!

YAY 4 being alive & YAY 4 husbands & friends & doctors & venlafaxine hydrochloride & pyridoxine hydrochloride& champagne. Aaaaahhh wot is is 2 b a Princess.
I think maybe there will be no more blood letting for while!!

9:36pm: ...it's gonna be a cold cold Christmas without you...
I am shocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Not Chris
The injustice of it all................

(PS we're talking Pop Idol here!)

2:24am: U know, U know we're gonna do it like that....
Note 2 munkysdredlocks....
....you cant eva slag off my love of Craig David cos my first introduction 2 him was in the Station Masters, playing pool, on the jukebox & me going "OMG - WHO IS THAT?"

Therefore it's all your fault! DEAL WITH IT!
OK - puppyfight over - time for puppynap!!

1:18am: ....screwed down hairdo, like some cat from Japan....
I've just noticed that many of my lj friends are hair-obsessed, especially today!!!
I guess that's one of the reasons they are my friends.

There are many things that I could say about my night out with the ex-bakery lot & most of them fairly positive, but about myself they are mainly very positive, which is why I'm awake in a brill mood with plentiful wine at this time of the morning.......
.......but really all I need to say was that my hair was awesome and therefore everything was fine!!!!!
Oh yeah..........beginning to remember who I am......!!!
I'm supposed to be ebaying...
...here I go...
...the weekend starts here........EVERYONE ENJOY!!!

11:58pm: ...it comes kinda hars when I hear your voice on the radio.....
Want cheap entertainment -
- listen to late night radio phone in shows

8:12pm: ...as long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends....
Yesterday I got a huge surprise in the mail - a wonderful letter from my Friend papi_thistle. It made me cry cos he said such lovely things & it got me to thinking about much!
I have been seriously ill for over a year now. I am soooo on the mend now that it's quite unbelievable. At this time of year there are a number of landmarks in time (Xmas/New Year etc) that make me think back to this time last year & make me realise quite how appalling it has been. OK - let's be honest here, last New Years Eve I had to have the bathroom door broken in to stop me from slitting my wrists (I'd already started). As I said to munkysdredlocks today I am genuinely surprised that I was not hospitalised this year mainly because I am surrounded by such wonderful people.
Tomorrow I am going out to dinner with some of the ex-bakery crew where I used to work & will thoroughly enjoy telling them how well I am, how great my current job is & how I'm taking time off to concentrate on my art & if they bother to listen to me they will be blown away. When I did the whole bakery dinner thing last year I hardly ate a mouthful, I was shakey the whole time, hardly said a word, was really rather thin, had the most appalling dark circles under my eyes & had to leave early hanging on to my friend's arm for fear of fainting. How much better I am now!

I really want to thank all my online friends for all their support & just for knowing that they were there, but it wasn't until I received papi_thistle's letter that I truly realised how much we all affect each other despite never having met & only really knowing the lj side of people. There are certain lj friends of mine that I worry about & think about a lot (esp papi_thistle) but for some reason never really considered that maybe they would be worried about me too!
Of all my online mates papi_thistle could possibly be considered the most unlikely one. Although we do seem to have much in common there is way more stuff that we will never have in common at all. But d'ya wot?......it doesn't matter.......HE IS THE KOOLEST!!!!!!
YAY 4 papi_thistle.


In other news....I am a foster parent to yet another dog! I'm trying real hard to regard it as fostering cos I don't know whether he will be a temporary or permanent member of the family yet, which is quite hard to deal with. (for full story see sanghasong)
Today I started to secure another outlet for my work which is a "probable definite" for next tourist season which has given me even more motivation to keep working.
Actually looking forward to Christmas (an unusual thing for me, although I don't think I'll be doing New Year again for a while).
This Christmas at home will be me, sanghasong & munkysdredlocks& an indeterminable number of animals & no children...an interesting combination.......
to quote munkysdredlocks...."you ruin my Xmas Dude & you're dead!!!!!!!!!!!
& to quote David Blaine..."I love you all"

.....makes overly emotional exit......

4:19pm: ...I'm walking into studio, consider strange appeal...
well a very nice weekend - mellow & getting stuff done both at the same time. Got some gardening done & general thingsthatneededdoing, as well as indulging myself with champagne & pop idol (thank god Susanne is out!!!)

Did the usual last night of doing some knitting after red wine so will have to "recreate the work again later" :( Will I never learn.
I now have samples of sweaters, bags, boxes, purses and a fabby cushion I made today to show Milo at Just Cornish before it gets sent of to Stages gallery. Wish I weren't nervous about talking to him though, especially cos I know that I have absolutely no reason to be. If he doesn't want my stuff he'll say so, and having run a shop myself I know that it's not meant as a slight against your work so I really don't know why I'm iffy about it. It's probably just cos I've been out of the loop for so long with my illness and it takes a while remembering how to be me!
My mum's been offered an exhibition in Barcelona next year & may be getting funding from various arts organisations to go and there is a possibility that she may be able to get funding to take her "assistant" with her - that'll be me then! I told her that I'd be her entourage & she can be a complete diva!
No more time for this now, off to ebay & then undo my knitting!!!!

1:49pm: ...Other people stared as if we were both quite insane....
I have just been given a wonderful suggestion for my artists statement. It runs something along the lines of:

"Petajayne (established textile artist of course) employs the ancient Penwithian tradition of various forms of intoxication in order to randomise her textile designs. This combined with the visual inspiration that comes from her appreciation of vintage entertainment often leads to her work having been created and recreated a number of times until the piece is finalised"

In other words, I do my art whilst watching Cary Grant films & getting pissed and stoned so that I lose all concentration and have to undo the bloody thing and redo it cos I completely fucked up!
with thanx to my mother & Ron of Stages Gallery

1:46pm: ...kiss the girl...

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	petajayne
Your haiku:	youtake my handkiss the future.it takes a miracle to her
Username:
Created by Grahame

9:47pm: ...she's so 20th century....

You're a Post-Punk. You know 70s punk was cool, but
it was mostly just a stepping stone for the
greater intellectualism of what would come
after. The 80s were amazing. You quite possibly
have huge hair, and may wear lots of black.
Snare drums need reverb. Lots and lots of
reverb.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
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...& so to Ebay & bed...

2:59pm:
I post weird poetic stuff no one understands


why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
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2:38pm: ...well that's deep.......
"When you turn to the sun you see no shadow"

Peter Murphy's official response to the bombings in Istanbul!!

Well, thanx 4 that, Peter!!! ;)

2:34pm: ....I can lock all my doors.....
At last I am mobile again. I have a shiny red car with lots of gadgets for my passenger to play with! And tomorrow it will be truly mine when I put all my lovely P stickers on it. YAY! Now I just need somewhere to drive to!

Not feeling so good today as I have been the past few days. sanghasong is off out partying tonight so I shall stay in with cheap champagne, that hopefully I shall be able to afford after some crap of mine has sold on ebay later today, and something yummy to eat & snugglybuggly chillyouty wearables and my knitting, which I shall not apologise for as hopefully the gallery will sell it & anyway Madonna knits!!! I might tell a semi-fib to the sprog & say that I am ill/need to sleep/have a migraine/whatever so I can stay in my tower without being hassled!

2:25pm:
I am Donnie, from "Donnie Darko." I'm
pretty troubled, yes.


Which Random Cult Movie Character are you?
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10:03pm: ....no I don't think so, I gotta boyfriend.......
So much to say...........
..so I won't bother,
except 4 getting one's priorities right.......

Therefore......
....."WestSide put your back into it".......

"WestSide iz De Best.........................."

& Post Script from Random PNess - I Ain't Yo Ho!!!!

9:14pm: .....are you ready, boots?......
Three random strangers took time out today to tell me that my boots were cool!
YAY 4 COOL BOOTS

8:52pm: ...I guess I had another bright idea, I should share it with you....
Now.....Matthew Colling.....


...there's someone to add to my list of "PeopleWorthyOfAttention"....

Congratulations Matt.....it took me a while to realise it, but you are officially "P-Ness Cool"..

..you are, admittedly, fairly low down on the list compared to the likes of David Blaine, Bev Nix, sanghasong, munkysdredlocks, Peter Murphy, Gary Numan, Will Self etc, but you are above Boris the Tory MP....
..Well Done Dude!!!!


ARE YOU P-NESS COOL???????

12:31pm: ....but the knights are all gone and the dragons are dead.....

FAIRY TALE

nce upon a time there was a young KNIGHT named THE HANDSOME PRINCE. He was LOVINGLY MUSING in the MYSTERIOUS forest when he met VAST BUBBLE, a run-away ARTIST from the FABULOUS Queen SPRITE.

THE HANDSOME PRINCE could see that VAST BUBBLE was hungry so he reached into his BOX and give him his SHALLOW ICE CREAM. VAST BUBBLE was thankful for THE HANDSOME PRINCE's ICE CREAM, so he told THE HANDSOME PRINCE a very DEEP story about Queen SPRITE's daughter PRINCESS P. How her mother, the FABULOUS Queen SPRITE, kept her locked away in a TOWER protected by a gigantic PUPPY, because PRINCESS P was so SOFT.

THE HANDSOME PRINCE LAUGHED. He vowed to VAST BUBBLE the ARTIST that he would save the SOFT PRINCESS P. He would FIGHT the PUPPY, and take PRINCESS P far away from her evil mother, the FABULOUS Queen SPRITE, and LOVE her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a HUGE STORM and VAST BUBBLE the ARTIST began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic PUPPY from his story. FABULOUS Queen SPRITE SKIPPED out from behind a TREE and struck THE HANDSOME PRINCE dead. In the far off TOWER you could hear a SIGH.

THE END.

Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com

Well it made me chuckle, considering it worked out so well!

5:35pm: ...the artist pretending it's art, the question is how do you pay?...
It's been a tiring day for a small princess!
Went into town today & test drove a car that's being offered to us for £150. I'm supposed to be on the computer now checking out whether we can afford the insurance. It's a rather shiny red, sporty heap of junk with the lovely quirkiness that my cars usually have eg windows not opening, gadgets not working etc. Sounds like my sorta thang!

Got some good charity shop shopping done today:
stuff wot I needed for my art at about an eighth of the price new - TOO COOL & I sent a load of new work off to the gallery
a Spandau Ballet video for £2
a Porky Pig video for my sanghasong for 50p
something to make something for my munkysdredlocks that I don't want him to read

and then I fell in love with BOOTS wot loverly sanghasong boughted for me - woah.............

and then I got a phone call from the guy that has owed me £250 for like 3 years saying that it's in the post.

So.........a good day.......
.........but I am so tired & headachey & very dizzy & bleh & yuk.......
Tonight I shall be SnugglyBuggly with Michael Jackson (on tv I hasten to add, I am not a SmallBoy!)........

7:39pm: ........I'm a Pooh Bear, and I do care.............

Indulgence is not a bad word as far as you're
concerned, your confidence in being yourself is
what matters more than all that.
The most loyal of friends and always good fun to be
around, everyone needs someone like you in
their life.


Which Pooh character are you?
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